Friday, March 03, 2006

she quietly wept..

I've been swinging alot lately.
and I really have no idea what's wrong with natalin..
i feel so like an idiot beside her.
i can talk non stop and
then she can just react as if i'm not there.
and walk away.
okay.probably i'm just sensitive and stuff.
but i hate the feeling of being ignored.

and then I quarrelled over with michelle.
i'm sorry i'm in a very foul mood in the morning.
after sheamson's stupid comment.
and desmond asking me to fuck off.
and all the hokkien vulgarities he said.
i was super duper pissed.

never mind.
i swallowed them all in.
and then i failed my a maths test.
i got a 7/23.
the worst i ever got.
and i feel really down.
and then steven pangseh me to watch movie with the rest.
i feel like bursting.

and ms chua actually smsed me just now.
and she asked me not to worry about the add maths test.
i passed my overall.
and that i should do some questions.
and she can mark for me.

okay.i admit that was sweet.
but the evil side of me thinks that she's trying to gain back my trust for her.
but then the good side of me tells me that i should just forgive and forget.

i know i'm such a sinner.
you have no idea how many fuck,fucks,fucking.
came out of my sinful mouth.
but i really really feel so stressed up.
and i'm afraid to say.
if i tell my friends..
one day they probably will fall out with me..
and everything will be out.
it's not like as if i got any dark secrets.
but i just don't like it.

i know i've been venting all my anger to my boyfriend.
i feel so bad and hurt.
perhaps he's just right.
whatever he does.i wont be happy.
so i'll let him have his own life.
and besides friday its his and his friends day.
i dun like to mingle along with his friends.

and now at 9.30pm.
i should go to sleep.
i have a long day tomorrow.
9-11am mr heng's tuition
12-2pm chinese tuition
this is what i do
just to meet my boyfriend.
I love him.

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