Friday, December 09, 2005
she quietly wept..
and suddenly I feel alone again.
there's no one out there whom I can speak to..
except to pray and pray.
but I don't get an answer.
I feel frustrated and angry.and hurt.
it's not the first time.
Like yesterday.
I look into the mirror..
and told myself.
it's another day.
and it'll definitely be a better day..
but then.
I not only got confronted once..
many times.
it's none of your business!
stay out of it.
there were times when i just wanted to scream into his ears.
and ask him to shut up.
i couldn't help it.
but to just cry.
it's so hard to keep everything inside.
it's so painful.
but i rather keep everything inside.
now..
after all these "things" that has happened..
i feel so inferior inside.
there's no way I'm going out to face my friends.
all I can do is to just stay at home.
and mind my own business.
play warcraft.
watch tv.
do work.
that's all i can do.
and i stop hanging with my friends.
there were so many times i rejected them flatly.
the excuse: I can't make it due to personal problem.ask no more.
the problem lies in me.
why can't other people just leave me alone?
It's not my fault that everything has turned out this way.
depressed.depressed mood.
no one's going to understand.
if i can just ruun away..
I hope I wont be living such a life.
